A Welcome Attitude

Today was another one of those Sundays where I'm just barely finding some time to blog. This day (as well as the week/weekend) has been very full and eventful. It seems like the theme has been one of "welcoming". 

A picture from a few years ago;
probably the last time I seen her.

Firstly, my Grandmother was welcomed into the arms of Jesus this past week after battling with her health for the past few years. Our family is saddened and will miss her so much, but we are relieved to know that she isn't suffering anymore and is finally at peace. I'm grateful to everyone for their thoughtfulness and prayers for my family! 

Secondly, I continue to feel welcomed more and more by my boyfriend's family (and church home). This has been another great weekend of spending it with the many people who have become so dear to me. The theme was even in the church sermon as the pastor was talking about how we need to welcome AND honor Jesus. It's easy to invite Jesus in and have Him make himself at home in our lives if things are good and He's doing what we think He ought to be doing for us. It's another to honor Him regardless of whether or not things are going well. The pastor referenced various stories in the Bible where people were asking for Jesus' help and miracles and the fact that many times, it was those great wonders that made people believe as well as continue to expect Jesus to keep doing those things (and whenever they asked). Sometimes, it's so easy to forget that just because He's God, it doesn't mean He's always going to flaunt it the way WE want. Our requests won't always be answered the way we want and expect; which doesn't diminish His divinity either. No matter what happens, our faith needs to continue being just that: faith. Faith stands; no matter what. 

The last thing that falls along the line of "welcoming" is the fact that I have been becoming more welcoming of the changes that God is making in my life and in my heart. In the past few years, I feel that I have toughened up (probably a little too much) in order to get through everything that I have. While that is sometimes necessary, it can also become a problem when you become so tough that you don't allow yourself to be broken and vulnerable anymore. It makes it harder for you to let go (as well as let in) the things that you should. The depth of the emotional pain I have wrestled with has been difficult; hard to deal with and let go of. It's also been hard to embrace the healing and restoration that God has been pouring out on me as things have finally gotten better in my life. A woman with a prophetic word at church had shared that there was at least one woman there that was struggling and felt "numb". I knew that was me because I had shared that same thing with Chris recently. I resisted at first and reasoned that I didn't really "feel" strongly led to receive prayer from her (especially in a new church where I didn't know people yet). God pointed out that I didn't "feel" it because I was numb (duh) which is exactly why I needed it. It was also an issue of allowing myself to feel it and not trying to ignore or stifle that prompting that I knew might be arising in me. So, God was good and was like, "You want to 'feel' something? There, do you feel it now?" Yeah, I did...and I'm glad I had that lady pray for me because she had been through a very similar ordeal of a bad relationship that ended in divorce and she had experienced the same array of emotions. 

If there's anything that I've learned recently, it's that I need to give myself permission to be "that girl" again. I had made a conscious effort to not be as open in an effort to guard my heart better, protect myself, and be smarter about things. Maybe now it's time to rejoice in the fact that I don't have to do that anymore (at least not to the degree that I have) and that I can relax because I'm surrounded by God's love and the love of Chris, his family, and my own family and friends. This is probably the most peace, love, and goodness that I have ever truly experienced in my life and it's ok to "welcome" that. It's MORE than ok! I just never knew that life could be this good; even with the day-to-day stress that is still there. Life is good. GOD is good. Even if things fell apart again, He is still good and always will be. He is sovereign. 

Grace and peace to you, my friends. I encourage you to be open and welcoming; to Jesus and to others. Allow Him to take it all, good and bad, and work it out for His purposes (Romans 8:28). Rest in the fact that honoring Him really is a good thing no matter what you "feel". Have a "welcome" attitude! Be infused! God bless you!